urrrrgh
i feel like shit. 5 day/night hen parties in marbella are awesome. coming back to work is Not.

stupid twats at monarch, though. i paid way more than everyone else who was flying sleazyjet, as i thought it's more reliable to fly schedule than charter, and the planes are much more comfortable. i even grimaced but paid £10 each way for the luxury of taking a suitcase.

only to find that my suitcase was 2kg over on the way home (how? how?? i hadn't brought anything different! how did my suitcase gain 2kg in 5 days? ropey spanish scales...), and they made me pay another 20 euros for the pleasure.

that is £35 to take a suitcase on holiday. the fucking plane was virtually EMPTY! i don't mind spending, but i hate being ripped off. does anyone have any nice ranting suggestions to go in my complaint email??

and how is everyone, have i missed any gossip?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 17:17, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gossip?
Nope. Another week and another pants QOTW.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 23 Jul 2008, 17:25, Reply)

Something along the lines of
If the weight of my bag is so absolutely crucial to the ability of the plane to take off, then how come the obese gentleman at the front of the queue was not required to weigh his man boobs and pay accordingly. Hmmm? HMMMMM?

This will work.

FACT.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 17:46, Reply)

@ MM
very good point, but then again, they might have asked me to pay extra for my own (attractively burnt at the top so red and white manchester united supporting) boobs....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 17:47, Reply)

@MM
I read that initially as "the obese German".

I need an optician's appointment...
( Kroney, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 17:50, Reply)

er
no. it is not a good look.

sometimes white bits are sexy - eg on a bloke where flat tanned stomach gives way to a tantalising white strip below jeans. and (i assume) on a girl where you can see the soft white skin contrasting with the tan.

but the angry red patches where i missed with the suntan lotion because i was still fucked from not having been to bed for about 3 days? there's sexier things in my grandmother's OAP home...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 18:04, Reply)

Evening Miss Swipe
I trust you had a grand time on holiday, angry red breast patches notwithstanding.

On the subject of your rant, let me direct you to this thread, where we briefly discussed this very topic earlier in the week.

It's all a money making exercise.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 18:24, Reply)

I would argue
That by logic, your suitcase must have actually weighed less, since you've used shampoo, suncream etc whilst away.

I would also say, that paying the extra 20 euros unfortunately left you with no spending money to sample their refreshments on the flight home, which is a shame, as you'd been asked to review their service for a very popular web page. However, if they wanted to offer you another return flight to marbella, with E20 spending money, then you'd be more than happy to complete the review. Do you think that'd wash??

I hope you had fun while you were there though!
(cherrynicola, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 20:24, Reply)

Nice to have you back
I'd go with the weighing of manboobs as well.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 23 Jul 2008, 21:28, Reply)

Monarch
You might try the following tactics:

1. Weights and Measures Act - claim that the scales were obviously faulty and that the airline had a duty not only to you as a customer but also to their staff members and to their regulator to ensure that accurate weight distribution could be made, which task would be impossible given their faulty scales

2. Threaten to whistleblow to the media (Watchdog in particular, but the Daily Shit, sorry, Mail too)

3. Threaten to whistleblow to the Civil Aviation Authority

I'll also send you some email addresses (via email ;)) to the top bods there. Start a wee firestorm to get them moving...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 7:31, Reply)

excellent
thanks everyone, very good whinge ideas... i sent an initial email yesterday afternoon and got this detailed, personalised response:

"Thank you for your correspondence

Please be assured that we do respond to all the correspondence we receive. We are investigating your complaint and will reply to you in full when this is completed. We expect this to be within the next 6 weeks.

Please be assured your e-mail has been recorded in our database and we will respond as soon as we can.

We do apologise for keeping you waiting and thank you for your patience."

&%$*£(&^)(*)(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:55, Reply)