There's a routine which I'd not like disturbed
- Fall out of bed at silly hour
- Shower and scratch nads
- Put odd socks on
- Feed cat
- Put kettle on, step out the back and have first tab
- Do some work
- Have second tab, kettle on again
- Bit more work
- Apple or orange, toast
- Put work frock on - cheekily scratch nads
- Third tab - glass of fruit juice
- GO!

This is all timed to a fine art.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:53, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Don't your neighbours have a problem
With a bloke wearing nothing but odd socks standing in the garden smoking?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:55, Reply)

Oh Jeff how you amuse me!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:56, Reply)

They've learned to live with it
I sometimes nick their blackberries too. Should have mentioned that.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 19:58, Reply)

You *should* be allowed to do what you like on your property without being judged, fo' sho'.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 20:00, Reply)

Exactly
And if any Tony Martin (top bloke etc.) type chooses to shoot me for stealing his garden produce whilst dressed in nothing but odd socks I've got the law on my side.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 20:04, Reply)

The Blackberry is the most advanced technology in The North.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 20:01, Reply)

And is a lovely tasty refreshing snack

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 20:05, Reply)