My mum scarred me
This is a tale not of my youth but of something that happened only a few weeks back, on August bank holiday weekend.

My folks recently took over a pub and tentative arrangements had been made for my girlfriend and I to go and take advantage of this by drinking all day on the Sunday with them in celebration of the fact we didn't have to work the next day.

Unfortunately, bank holiday weekend was the one before payday meaning that we were both pretty skint so I rang my mum to let her know that we wouldn't be over.

On telling her this, she replied

"That's fine. You should stay in and have early morning sex."

My face dropped. My mum's never talked like this with me before. I didn't know how to reply so I just muttered

"Yeh, maybe"

She decided to carry on though

"Your dad tried that with me this morning. I was woken up to a sharp prodding in my back. It soon went away when I gave it a quick smack though."

That is one mental image I never wanted and will never be able to get rid of!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:48, Reply)