As I've said before
I wasn't planning on saying anything, other than a letter I wrote to my mate to explain my feelings on this. So Loon and Stig, I know it's not my place to do so.

I am pissed off with the guy. I also know that at some point in their 12 year relationship he cheated on her before, and she left him for a while to sort her head out, before coming back to give him a second chance. So actually, yes, I do know that this will destroy her and that they do not have an open relationship.

TRL;
I can definitely see the viewpoint of someone who says that the threesome was too good to pass up- it would be someone whose needs were not being met in a monogamous relationship. That said, he DOES owe it to her to let her know that his needs are not being met, and that he is seeking out what he needs elsewhere. She has to be fully aware of this. If she is and she's okay with it, then all is good. If he's doing this on the sly and she would not be comfortable with it, that's another matter entirely.

What the fuck? You'd seriously say to a partner that they were shit in bed and that you needed a good fucking elsewhere? To be quite frank anyone who would even breach that as a topic of conversation is beyond my comprehension. If your relationship is not working sexually, it's not working. You can't dress it up. You've become friends, and you need to get out. I can't honestly understand how someone could be shagging around and still kidding themselves that it was all in everyone's best interests, even if their partner did know. One thing I know about women is that they'll agree to anything if they're used to being shat on.

EDIT: CHCB, if I were to tell her, it would be because I'd hope someone would tell me. If I knew it had been going on, with my boyfriend still fucking me with his bismirched penis, I'd have to stab things. I'd much rather know the truth.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 17:52, Reply)