My favouritest joke ever.
A snail goes into a bar and orders a pint of lager.
The barman looks at the snail and says "sorry mate, we don't serve snails."
The snail seems a little bit annoyed at this and says "look, I only want a pint mate, just serve me yeah and stop being a prick."
The barman understandably takes umbrage at being called a prick and tells the snail to leave quietly.
At being asked to leave our little shelled friend kicks off a bit. "OI!" He shouts. "I don't know what your faaacking (did I mention the snail's from London?) problem is you caaant but all I wanted was a pint yeah, so stop being a wanker and serve me!"

The barman decides he's had enough of being spoken to in such a way so instead of asking the snail to leave, he simply picks him up, walks to the door and chucks the snail down the end of the pub garden.

A year later the snail returns and says to the barman. "Oi! You! What the fuck did you do that for?!"
( wanderlust, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)