Right, here's today's crap joke. It's an old one, but I like it...
There was this man who had just had plastic surgery, and he went for a walk to see what people thought of his new appearance. Upon meeting a man in the street, he stopped and said "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes", said the other chap, "go ahead".

"OK, how old do you think I am?"

"Oh, about 31, 32 probably"

"NO!", said our man, "I'm 45, but I just had plastic surgery, and I'm well pleased with the result."

A bit later the man was in the chip shop, buying a fish supper. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" he said to the man behind the counter.

"No, what is it?", said the chip shop owner.

"How old am I?"

"Hmmm, mid thirties?"

"NO! I'm actually 45 but I just had plastic surgery. It's great!"

A bit later, having consumed his fish supper, the man met a woman in the street. "Would you answer a question for me?" he said.

"All right", said the woman, "what is it?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"Well, if you drop your trousers, I can tell you exactly", she said.

"Hang on", said the man, "I only asked you how old I was!"

"Well, I can tell you exactly if you drop your trousers."

"Oh, all right then", said the man, undoing his belt.

The woman felt around his nether regions for a while and eventually said "You're 45".

"How on earth did you know that?", said the man, somewhat amazed.

"Oh, easily", said the woman, "I was standing behind you in the chippy!"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)