Doggy Style
A former colleague.

Many years ago his beloved dog died. A dog which had belonged to his parents previously. Colleague’s father and mother had passed away and he took care of the beloved family pet which came to be a link to a different life that had long disappeared with the death of his parents. But every dog has its day and this one went on to join his former owners, wherever they now were.

With colleague being too upset to bury the dog himself a neighbour offered to carry out the morbid task. While said colleague was at work one day, aforementioned neighbour buried the dog in said colleague's garden. These were profoundly distressing days and it was a noble gesture by the neighbour, an act of understanding, of something deeper than friendship.

Years passed by and Colleague found cause to dig in his garden for some fabulous new gardening experience. Whilst digging down low his spade unearthed the remains of a cardboard box. Clearly cardboard is not a material that would take too kindly to being submerged in damp earth and to a greater extent the box had disintegrated.

Without any doubt It was the box in which his dog was buried. But something was not quite right. As he related the whole sorry tale to us at work the next morning, the simmering resentment of Colleague was quite apparent. All became clear with the final of the big man's story:

"The silly cunt had only put him in a plastic bag before he buried him".
(Kemchor, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 20:51, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gah!
I can only imagine the smell.

...actually, now that I think about it, I buried a cat in a plastic bag at Nurse Ratched's house...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 21:04, Reply)

I had a friend
with a snake.

Quite a long one. Well one day he came home and found it dead. It was stretched out and stiff, and he was very upset.

In the midst of his grief he encountered a comedy (to me anyway) problem. How do you bury a long stiff snake? quiet at the back please Do you dig an eight foot long, thin, shallow grave, or a tiny, round eight foot deep one?

Fortunately for him, and the snake, he didn't have to choose either, as the snake woke up from being torpid (or turgid or whatever it is snakes become when they shut down).

Still makes me giggle when I picture him standing there in his garden with a spade in one hand, wielding the snake in the other like a lightsabre, gazing at the ground in consternation.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:57, Reply)

Oh noes!
I heard that if you bury something in a plastic bag, they won't be able to breathe in heaven.
:(
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 9:07, Reply)