Senor Burt Reynolds: look it's perfectly simple:
1) Get an account on match.com.

2) Post a photo of you from five years earlier, lie about how much you like sunsets and poetry (in an attempt to distance yourself from all the I love fit birds, innit lads) and explain how "girls don't seem to go for your type"

3) Wait 3 months for a reply, or an answer from one of the 50 girls you've sent a message to

4) Finally get chatting to one, realise you have nothing in common except the stench of desperation and an eating disorder

5) Meet in a McDonalds, stare at the napkins for half an hour as you have nothing to say to each other, until she makes an excuse and climbs out of the toilet window, or "suddenly has to rush off to see her dying father"

6) Go home and masturbate
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 6 Nov 2008, 13:22, Reply)