Oh onions
I have a possibly semi interesting story about onions.

This was 2005 and I was trying to impress a young lady so that she would remove her pants and let me lie on top of her in an invigorating manner.

So how did I try to impress her? I smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot of cider, and then at a party staggered up to her and turned on the charm.

I stared into her soft brown eyes, stroked her cheek, made her smile... and thats when the hunger hit me. She (along with a few other people) accompanied me to a local kebab van. For some reason one of the other drunks bet me that I couldn't eat two whole onions, chopped up.

No fricking problem thinks I.

So I order two whole onions, chopped up. I pay with a £20 and only remember getting £4 change.

We went back to mine, I put a movie on and about 5 of us sat in the dark watching it. Her hand found my leg and stroked it. I found my plastic fork and began shovelling raw onion into my face.

When she tried to kiss me she almost vomited.

When I tried to talk the next day I had onion juice induced blisters on my tongue and cheeks that made it incredibly painful.

She ended up going out with a chemical engineer.

I ended up smelling of onions for a fortnight.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)