I know we were supposed to get the dumb puns out of our system a while ago, but...
... Last year, I was dating a beautiful indian woman. Not only was she easy on the eye, but she also has a cracking technique when it came to manual relief, which involved turning a leather glove inside out - I'm sure you can picture the rest.

The relationship soured, though, when she wanted me to learn some more about the language. I tried, but it didn't seem too hard - of course, she thought I was taking the mickey when I said it seemed easy, and the most difficult parts seemed to involve clothing.

This was the beginning of the end for the relationship; we were no longer intimate, and I missed, above all, her special technique, to the point where one day I cried out;

"What can I do to make you glove me, when sari seems to be the hardest word?"

*

Also, yesterday, I began to wonder; would Gnarls Barkley ever help out around care homes?

You can imagine the scene; Cee-lo is sat down next to Alf, who's having trouble with his eyes. Alf spys a lady across the room;

"Hey, Cee, is that Doris over there?"

"No, I think it's Ma-is-ie..."

/coat
(Fjord, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 19:29, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ouch...
:-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 21:03, Reply)

***Worst Post Ever on Off Topic Award***
Well done lad, that's quite an achievement considering the existence of Home Sweet Home threads.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:31, Reply)