Captain Placid & I were due to fly up to Bonnie Jockland...

His company were sorting us out cheap flights.

Then his company fucked us over.

No problem, thought we...it will be a ball-ache, but we'll drive...

The the present Mrs Pooflake starts whinging.

Being a kind and sensitive husband, I told her: 'Tough shite, I'm going'

So her Grandad decided to selfishly put himself in hospital with a nasty case of being nearly dead - most of my nights are now spent babysitting the flakelets whilst her and her family go visiting.

But I am still undeterred. I can sort something out. All I need is some time off work.

Me: "Boss, I know there's a lot on, what with us all losing our jobs and being outsourced...but can I have some time off work please? regarding the wedding that I gave you prior notice about fucking ages ago?"

Boss: "Oh.....right...I remember........NO!"

Me: "You're a cunt"

and here we are.

I will man the fuck up...but first I have to sober the fuck up...

just after I stop crying...and drinking

*checks for man balls*

*finds empty space*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:31, Reply)