My take on this.
Social Services *do not* like removing children from parents, especially mothers.

The only thing that's going to work here is:

a) talking to your daughter and working out what she wants. How happy she'll be living with you. Does this involve her moving schools and losing friends ? Crucially, how much time has she spent with you in her childhood ? How many overnight visits ? You mention it's not going to be easy her living with you - you need to work out stratagems to deal with this.

b) Getting advice from a family lawyer. There's no point taking this step if your daughter doesn't want to live with you.

c) Going through hell. You will, I'm sorry to say, go through hell to get what you want, if your ex doesn't want to play ball. It will get very messy, very dirty, and any concept of "justice" you might have goes out of the window. Social Services do not have much in the way of accountability, so don't think that you being the good guy will count for anything. It won't.

Think long and hard about this. Discuss with your family, friends and partner; because they are going to have to support you through this process, and deal with the outcome whatever it is.

And if your daughter doesn't want to live with you, there is nothing you can do, apart from leave the door open for her to change her mind.

I've dealt with social services. I know which of what I type. Feel free to gaz me if you want a chat
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:54, Reply)