I can see your mum
sunbathing naked, smothered in vegetable oil.

The old guy next door has been mowing the same patch of grass for half an hour.

I think he's just run over his foot. There's blood everywhere, but he hasn't noticed. Maybe he's passed out from the hazy glare of your mum's milky white thighs?

Nono, wait, yup, that was an artery. Gushing everywhere. All over your mum. She's screaming and trying to jump over the hedge. Old chap's finally fallen over. She's trying to give him the kiss of life now, but her ample breasts keep smothering him.

Oh, no, it's ok now, the old guy's wife has come out and she's holding the breasts out of the way whilst their grandson ties a tourniquet around his foot.

Oh, and the ambulance has just turned up. Excellent. They're trying to get him in the back, but looks like the grandson has somehow managed to get the hose tied into the tourniquet. They've chopped it off now, but the water was on, so they're all getting dowsed as it whips around like a hungry snake. Strangely, your mum's coming off the best here because she's so oily and greasy.

Crikey, it's quite exciting here today!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)