Soon after I passed my test
I was driving up a main road when a fucking spider started climbing down his silk line *inside* by car, three inches from my right ear. Of course, being a manly man, I immediately panicked and started flailing at it. The silk thread snapped and the fucker fell onto the seat between my legs and disappeared. Into. My. Crotch.

I spacked out then, wriggling around, brushing madly at the seat etc. Very masculine.

So then I glanced at the road and I was doing fifty in the wrong carriageway. I was driving straight towards oncoming traffic at a speed well over the limit. The one thing that saved me was that the traffic lights up the road were red and nobody was actually coming at that particular moment.

Swerving back onto the road i noticed that the car behind had given me about 250 yards of room, no doubt expecting me to smash headlong into the first available vehicle and sensibly wanting no part of it.

Point is, you make mistakes when you first pass. It's not really your fault, it's because you're a shit driver. No shame in it, being a good driver takes practice. If you get all scared and crawl around at 20 everywhere for the rest of your life, then you'll stay a shit driver and become a real hazard.

It's a public service I provide, you know.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 0:34, Reply)