I realise I'm a little late coming to this thread
being on BST and all, but I feel the need to chip in.

It sounds like you've a case of something similar to what I've had over the last 9 months or so - though it sounds like yours is more severe - where basically you know exactly what you should be doing, but the action of actually doing it seems like such an insurmountable effort in comparison to sitting in your room waiting for the hours to tick away.

I would like to suggest that, unless you feel you really can't cope without them, don't try getting hold of the drugs. Antidepressants are a great short-term fix, but they won't help in the long term and you don't want to become dependent on them. Obviously, if you feel at any point that you might do something inadvisable without them, then by all means get hold of some, but I would try and avoid them where possible.

What you need, I think, is someone to talk to. Posting your appeal on here has probably been a step in the right direction, as, in nearly all cases, it helps to tell somebody and to start talking about it. Some sort of counselling is probably a good place to start - personally, I found it useful to have somebody impartial I could talk to who could react with complete neutrality to my problems and help me to identify what was causing the lethargy, the apathy, the despondence, etc. If they feel that you need any more hardcore psychotherapy, or even drugs, then they'll be able to recommend something that suits you.

I'll second the suggestion on taking a long walk as well. It can be surprisingly relaxing.

Also, steel yourself - just once - and get on the phone to book your cardiac appointment. If you can muster the strength of mind to make that phone call and sort out the appointment then it may actually make you feel a little better.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck and best wishes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 10:45, Reply)