I grew up in Hungerford
Hungerford is not a large town. In fact, there are probably some villages that are bigger. Because of this, there was the traditional pub that let all the youngsters in, so that everyone knew where they were. Everyone knew that if you wanted an under-age beer, you had to go to the Plume. The only problem with this was that my mum worked there so I didn't have a chance of getting served. Ever.

This is why I was pretty pleased when a mate of mine came round and told me that he'd been served in a different pub and that I should go out with him to sample the beer-y delights.

So off we go, march in to the pub and, to make sure we can stay, I go to the bar first. I muster up my manliest, I've been choppping wood and have a car and am at least 35 voice and ask for 2 bottles of Bud. (It was my first beer. My taste got better!)

I only got served! We were in!

The night progressed on, we played pool, we racked our empty bottles up on the shelf behind us, we became infinitely cooler and knew we would be the envy of everyone that we knew.

There was just one problem. The end of the night and the walk home. My memory is a little hazy here but I am reliably informed that my legs refused to function in any way, shape or form. Pele's pre-Viagra tadger probably would have kept me more upright than those things. My buddy wasn't much better so we ended up crawling on our hands and knees to get bakc to mine.

For some other strange reason, I began to speak like Jack Duckworth as well. This is something I have never done before or since and have no idea why it happened then.

So we had a lack of legs, northernisms and the vomit. So much vomit. You can imagine why my mum was not best pleased when I rolled home, using the car wing mirror to drag myself upright.

I think the major reason she was upset though was that this wasn't the typical case of underage drinking. I wasn't 17. Or even 16. I was 14 and was only supposed to be off to my mates to play Commander Keen for a few hours!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)