Fuck the question below
I've been in the office for 15 minutes and my week has already been ruined.

It's been weeks since the moron fucking cad technician was in, and it's been beautiful. The tosser has only been here for a few minutes and already I want to rip his throat out. It has quite literally ruined my week.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:35, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why not
just rip his throat out anyway?

It'll make you feel better, and presumably raise the spirits of your colleagues too. And of course they will swear blind that they saw nothing, so you won't be done for murder either.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:41, Reply)

because he might talk to me just before I do it
I cannot bear the sound of this guy's voice. it's the most awful sound ever. it'd be better if we had a scouser here instead of this guy. seriously.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:45, Reply)

Earplugs?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:53, Reply)

I'm seriously considering it
wouldn't be a problem if my stupid fucking company hadn't decided a little while ago that we weren't allowed to listen to music.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Bearded chin up mate
Could be worse... um... somehow
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 8:41, Reply)

I'm here now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 9:05, Reply)

damn it
every day we all hope you won't come back, and yet here you are...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 9:07, Reply)

How about engineering it so he quits due to stress?
Legless could give you a few tips.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Jul 2009, 9:14, Reply)

he'd be able to put up with it I'm sure
because he is on a temp contract, so only in for 2 weeks.

also, the man wears a white denim jacket and jeans. who knows what it might take to get to him...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Ah.
Well, white denim jacket and jeans? That's all I need to know the guy is a cunt. If he keeps a bottle of moisturiser around, perhaps you should top it up a little?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Jul 2009, 9:17, Reply)