I was frightened of my own shadow too
I'm not much bigger nowadays, not really physically stronger, I'm no more able to fistfight than I was then, but mentally I'm completely different.
I was still stuck in that 'bullied kid' mentality. I didn't want to offend anyone in case they hit me or hurt my feelings.
Now I realise it doesn't matter at all. If someone is a bastard who's going to give you a thump for standing up for yourself or disagreeing with them, they're also going to do it if you sit in a corner tying not to offend them.
You're just as likely to be mugged in broad daylight as you are when you're rotten drunk at 3am with your earphones in, spilling onion bhaji all over yourself as you sing country songs. Or maybe less so because you exude confidence and and air of 'don't-fuck-with-me'.
I'm still scared of scallies with dogs though...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:17, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Oh yes, and living where I do the scallies are most prevalent. Damned Trashford.
The thing I hate is that they only have the dogs to make themselves look hard :( I'm tiny so only an absolute coward would pick on me, or so you'd hope...

The bullied kid mentality is very hard to escape from, and I'm a prime example of that. Getting there though. Slowly.
( Maladicta, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I think I'm over it
In fact, I I wander round thinking I'm invincible most of the time. But I'll never throw my weight around or intimidate nice people, because I can just about remember what it's like not to be able to stand up for yourself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:34, Reply)

I'll be a lot happier
when I get to where you are. I internalise a lot of my emotions (especially at work) and that's not helping. When I have music on, which is constantly when I'm out, I do feel invincible (a trick I learned from my flatmate, who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks of him).
( Maladicta, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Music saves
; )
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:40, Reply)

That it does :)
*dances in the kitchen to the Timewarp*
( Maladicta, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:47, Reply)

*taps nails on keyboard*
workin' niiiine to fiiiive!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Oh, now I know what I want to put on next!
*likes having the flat to herself*
( Maladicta, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:55, Reply)