When I worked at a petrol station
many moons ago, for the footballer-wage-esque hourly rate of £2.50, the summertime was great fun.

We used to get all sorts of wasps coming in attracted no doubt to all the sugary sweeties and ice lollies that we sold. (Part of the perks was you could get away with stealing basically anything you wanted).

Aye so wasps - they used to fly into the interior of my giant BP forecourt window and hover around not knowing quite why they can't make it through glass. IDIOTS. The best method of termination was - the household ruler.

Hold vertically, firmly in left hand. Aim at said creature. Pull back top half of ruler with right hand and release! Well you'd be surprised at how large a splat those wasps can make. Probably about an A5 sheet of papers worth of clear gooey liquid punctuated by bits of waspy anatomy. You'd probably not be surprised by the funny looks from the forecourt as people filling up their car witnessed me aiming a ruler at them and grinning like a mong.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 14:38, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Is this post too long?
Yeah well fuck off you wasp faced bastard.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I love reading your every word

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)