Volcano
Me and one of my housemates watched this pile of turd a few nights ago as we were bored and severely lacking in anything else interesting to do, short of stabbing rusty knifes up our japs eyes, we decided to watch Volcano. In retrospect, the whole jamming rusty implements into our urethras would have been better than watching Volcano.

It's just horrifically bad. The science in the film is laughable, and coming from a man who barely remembers GCSE geography/sciences, I could honestly have done better than that film did in terms of scientific accuracy. The visuals look shit, as the lava looks either like treacle, or like a really orange honey. And the CGI is laughably bad, even if it is being judged by 1997 standards (hell, the Aliens CGI looked better)

There's also a bit where Tommy Lee Jones grabs his supposedly 13 year old daughter (she looks about 15/16), and makes a leap over about a foot of lava onto a car. With his daughter held in his hands. Over fucking lava. Y'know, the stuff that burns if you go anywhere near it, let alone prance over it like some sort of Olympian Godman. And the bit where the train driver gets rescued is just hilariously bad. They could have easily pulled the guy out of the lava and just dragged him to a hospital minus his feet but instead stand around for several minutes to watch the guy die. Nice.

Finally, one other thing that annoyed me about the film was the number 23 firetruck. First seen on its side, toppled over, with firemen trapped inside. Lava overtakes it, and melts it really badly. Then, next seen perfectly intact driving up to the newly formed concrete barrier, completely unmelted. I might also add its one of the few firetrucks with a great fuck-off number on the front of it, so it is very distinctive. ARGH! (Yes, I'm being petty with that last point, but it just grinds my gears when stuff like that happens)
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 23:31, Reply)