Nah Trang
Is a horrible place, with all too many 'Britt's on tour' for my liking and to top it off we arrived the day after a minor tropical storm so the beach was completely fooked... This did not put me in the best of moods

The one thing I will give Nah Trang is that it is a rather good place to get pished, so this is what I did (with gusto). An indeterminate time later I am staggering the streets alone when a lovely (not lovely) lady appears from a dark alley way and lunges directly for my balls. "excuse me madame but could you kindly remove yourself from my testicles" I would have said but instead I flailed my arms and slurred until she went away... Somehow she had managed to remove every last piece of money from my wallet without even taking the thing out of my pocket! I admired her skills but I had the best part of 2,000,000 dongs in there

She kindly left me my bank card and unfortunately my pissed brain was on auto-pilot so I went strait to the cash point and then to find another bar, when this delightful lady appeared once more... I'd like to say that I avoided her like the plague, but alas I was robbed once more somehow. This time I was less impressed with her skills and more thoroughly pissed off and as if by magic the manager arrived (read pimp) and for the next half hour or so I shouted:

"This is a false economy! False I say!!! You need good shhhervice so you get repeat customershh, you fool!"

To which he seemed to be interested but alas the extent of his English seemed to be "You want lady? Cheap, cheap". Which funnily enough I didn't at the time.
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 7:38, Reply)