It's totally lush outside
and I'm sat in my pokey office tapping away incessantly on my phone catching up with correspondence. Tonight I'm seeing my bestie and meeting her new fella which I'm nervous about, dunno why. When I was seventeen I used to babysit one kid whose mum liked to leave me a four-pack of Boddingtons to drink, and leave porn mags and her used vibrator out on her bed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 7:51, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you take the hint from the mum?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 7:52, Reply)

If, by take the hint, you mean drink four cans of Boddingtons then wank myself dry over her porn while imagining herself ploughing her fanny with her shiny friend
then yes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 7:56, Reply)

To complete the tableau. Did you stick the vibrator up your arse?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 8:00, Reply)

I wasn't wise in the ways of the prostate at that tender age
so no.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 8:03, Reply)

I bet you're not as nervous as he is!
As a teenage babysitter I used to love it when the kids went to bed and I could watch the 'German Channels' on their Sky TV. I saw Terence Trent D'Arby in soft porn and discovered a load of Russ Meyer films.
It was great when I grew up and finally watched them WITHOUT them being dubbed into German.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 7:55, Reply)

Man, he's screwing my best friend, he must be the most self-confident smug motherfucker in the world right now.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 8:04, Reply)

Haha
I take it she's quite the catch?
He'll still be nervous, meeting her best friend and all that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 8:05, Reply)

Yeah, she's tops.
I'm sure we've met before through a mutual friend but it was a year or two ago and there was beer involved, so *shrug*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 8:06, Reply)