My penis
(Well, I discovered it through rigorous experimentation)

Hello, Mme Poulet. How's tricks?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:48, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Hello!

Not bad ta. Must learn the one where you pull the tablecloth out from under the china - now that would be a good trick to perform. I would of course have to invite the local vicar to tea in order to astound him and then I could beat him (or her) with the POWAR of science.
Haven't worked out quite how I'm going to do the beating with science bit yet.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

If I were you
I'd just invite Richard Dawkins round to punch the vicar in the face.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

That would work
but it would have to be after I'd done my tablecloth trick.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

"More tea, vicar?"
V: "Hmm, yes please, Ms Chickenlady."
CHICKENLADY grabs end of tablecloth
CL: "Huzzah!"
CHICKENLADY gives a firm tug (fnar fnar) which removes tablecloth from table and scatters china crockery liberally over the living room. Some 90% of the buttered, breaded goods previously resting upright on their tray have landed buttered-side-down on the recently cleaned carpet, proving some theory or other. The VICAR starts to laugh
V: Well, whatever did you do that for?
CL: Don't laugh at me! I have the POWER OF SCIENCE!
Enter RICHARD DAWKINS
RD: SCIENCE! LOGIC! ROARRRR! FUCK OFF, GOD-BOTHERER!
RICHARD DAWKINS punches the VICAR in the face
CL: Ta, Richard
RD: My pleasure, Chickenlady.
CL: Will you stay for some tea?
RD: I would, but I'm afraid I must away, for SCIENCE needs me! Plus you appear to have emptied the teapot over the floor.
CL: This is true...
RD: Better luck next time. And now - TO THE SCIENCEARIUM!
RICHARD DAWKINS strikes a triumphant pose and then wanders over to the coatstand before picking up his attire and politely leaving via the front door.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 17:07, Reply)

You're like a modern-day Chaucer, Crowers old bean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Ta kindly
It's a pleasure to be able to share these flashes of inspiration with you all. (At least, it's better than sharing a flash of my "inspiration" with the all-female office round the corner from mine...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 17:14, Reply)

This is exactly how I imagined it
except perhaps with more cake.

Fantastic.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 17:25, Reply)