We had an evil, evil old sub called Mrs Lidgerwood
She had nails like claws looked like a more wrinkly version of Cruella DeVille and smoked like a chimney while sat in her beige Morris Marina. People would go out of their way to avoid her in the corridor because there was always a screaming fit ready for you if she caught you with your shirt out.

There was a legend that was passed down religiously that she used to be a porn star in Germany back in the day. Everyone believed it, though thankfully no evidence was ever produced.
If she wasn't spotted for a couple of weeks, there would always be the rumour that she was dead, but she kept proving that one wrong.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)