That's the quicker method
The alternative is we just let them continue their normal lives with these vastly inflated tongues, and see how long it takes them to realise that attempting to speak will crush their tracheas. And that way they will learn not to speak on pain of self-asphyxiation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:34, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Doesn't seem to have worked so far, sadly
Perhaps tongue wrestling to the death is for the best.
(berk, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Could just be that Oliver is a fan of auto-asphyxiation
So by talking shit in a shit accent on his shit TV programme he gets the combined eroticism of a good choking and the sound of his own voice. He must be permanently tumescent...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Judging by the number of stupidly named kids
his wife has popped out, it's entirely possible...
(berk, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Oh christ, you mean he's managed to procreate?
It's worse than I feared...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I think he's got 4 now
it was in the news last week - the latest one is called Buddy. I wouldn't even call my dog something that lame.
(berk, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Buddy?
FFS. Buddy is a nickname given to blues players if it's a name at all. Unless it's short for something amusing like Budderick then I shall campaign for Oliver to be legally required to eat this child with a side order of turkey twizzlers.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)