My gran (bless her soul)
had the misfortune to come into the living room as I was listening to Front242.

"That's the devil's music that," she said, "you'll go to hell for that." She sat down and continued to read where she had left off in her Stephen King novel.....

As she got older, she got a bit more racist. One day, whilst watching the news, there was a film report from some poor country where they had had another coup, and people were shown being shot.

"That's what happens when you give w*gs guns," she said without even looking up from her copy of Das Kapital (she was a staunch party member).

Just before she died, she had a major heart attack and was taken into hospital. We took her in the newspapers so she could have a gripe about something. Whilst she was reading, she started yelling, "That's what's destroying the ozone layer, all these bloody Americans and their rockets." When asked to show us how, she replied, "Look here, those bloody rockets they keep launching into space. They've got to be the cause. Sending them sharp metal pricks into space must be bursting the air at the top of the atmosphere like a bubble." Class.
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Thu 11 Mar 2004, 23:17, Reply)