Advice from Old PeopleSometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
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chthonic, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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What-cha-got.This is the term frequently used by my Granddad and it means anything and everything. You may think this is a funny, quirky, 'ahhhh look at the old person' type thing but when he comes round EVERY BLOODY DAY and uses it in sentences so much that you can't actually understand him it gets on your nerves very quickly.
Unfortunately he is a widower and has been for 6 years, again 'ahhhh poor old person' except because he has no one to talk in his house he frequents my house for at least 2 painful hours a day starting up conversations, that aren't wanted by either me or my Mum, with "Errr whatchagot." Excuse me? He doesn't even bother to think about what he's going to say before he starts. Other annoying pastimes of his are to randomly read road signs while we're driving along and when debating any point of a topic he will always, and I mean always, contradict your argument so that the conversation carries on. As you can imagine both are very, very irritating.
Undoubtedly the best conversation I've heard was this when talking to my Mum:
Him: Errr you know that chef?
Mum: No, who do you mean.
Him: You know that chef, errr Jamie...whatchagot.
Mum: Oliver.
Him: Yeah, yeah. Anyway did you know that his Dad was Jeff Whatchagot?
Rightttttttt... Anyway here is his fantastic advice, again a bit of background is needed. My Granddad has shedloads of cash and is sitting on a £250,000 house but despite being able to buy whatever he could want he sets himself a budget every month and after that doesn't withdraw anymore money for that month. My Mum, and occasionally me, try to get him to spend some of his money so that he can do something with his retired life. Since all he does is sit and watch tv all day with no social friends whatsoever my Mum has tried to get him to buy a computer for a few years, every attempt falls on deaf (probably literally) ears and he shrugs off the attempt. She tried again last week and he said,
"What would I do with a computer? I might as well just buy a calculator"
So there you have it, a computer is a calculator. I don't think I've ever heard such an un-educated statement since the last BNP election broadcast.
Still I'm not complaining, he's bought my season ticket for the upcoming season saving me £80 and that thought gets me through the 2 hours every day. Luckily the summer holidays are coming so I can just sleep in until 1pm and by that time he's left. Happy days.
(, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 1:16, 5 replies)
He might irritate you, but he is lonely and obviously loves you and your mum.The least you can do is to try not to behave like a spoilt little shit.
Make the most of this time with him, because they're not around forever and believe me - you'll miss him when he's gone.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 21 Jun 2008, 11:31,
closed)
I shall give you some advice young manRob Wolleston is a bloody useless footballer, don't rely on him to be able to pass anything to anyone in the same colours, he struggles to pass food through his colon.
(, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)
A computer IS a calculator.Both words mean exactly the same thing.
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Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 16:14,
closed)
@HalfyI'm not expecting much even if we spend millions this summer. It will be another mid-table finish for us.
(, Sat 21 Jun 2008, 17:19, closed)
£80 for a season ticket!!?It'll cost me nearly that to see Arsenal get trounced at the Lane again this year!
(, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 10:13, closed)
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