Advice from Old PeopleSometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.
Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.
Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.
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chthonic, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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I had a friend onceWho inherited his father's farm in the far off year of 2000. It was a small outfit that mainly specialized in legumes.
Not the most profitable of agricultural institutions, but it was still staying afloat, and so John - as we shall call my friend, as that is his name - kept the place going.
Then, in 2005, disaster struck when the Ascochyta blight flared up, ravaging most of the country's pea harvest for that year - luckily John's farm was spared.
Overnight, he was inundated with orders. John's Peas became the most valuable consumable on the island, fetching upwards of 89p each.
John was rich, going from uncomfortably well off to obscenely wealthy in a single stroke - and unfortunately, it went to his head.
John took to gambling with investments, illusions of grandeur and more money dancing in his ecstatic, dilated pupils. He poured millions, his entire net worth, into billboards in Louisiana.
Then in August 2005, Hurricane Katrina struck, obliterating all of John's Advertising in one fell swoop, leaving John bankrupt.
He began the slow road to recovery, borrowing money and using it to help tide his business over until peas were once again in season.
In 2008 he started gambling with investments again using his monopoly on the pea market to finance his ill-advised projects. This time he bought up vast amounts of Burmese rice fields.
Then, in May 2008, Cyclone Nargis wiped out his rice fields, leaving John broke and in significant debt.
This time, his peas were not enough to save him, and after selling his father's farm to cover his debt, he spent his last few thousand on a poster printing company in a desperate last bid.
The next day, the factory and company headquarters were burnt to the ground in a freak electrical accident.
John leapt in front of a train the next day, a broken man with debts of thousands, and nothing left to his name.
Another life destroyed by Ad Vice from Old Pea Bills.
I'm so very, very, very sorry. Please don't hurt me. Apologies for length of pun, but it's the girth that really get's things going.
(, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:42, 3 replies)
*click*For services to punnage, above and beyond the call of duty.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 15:52,
closed)
*click*Sir Humph would be proud!
ahem x
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blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 23 Jun 2008, 21:36,
closed)
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