My grandad part 2
My granddad is 80 odd so I think he counts as old. A few years back he had a stroke, only a mild one though, he got out of hospital and went back to the house with my Gran and everything was presumed fine.

Now he’s always been a grumpy old bastard, and phenomenally tight fisted. I’ve already mentioned the falling off the roof story because he was too tight to pay for scaffolding. But the best one is that he used to keep a brand new exhaust in his garage and when his car needed an MOT he would swap it for the knackered one on the car, get the MOT and then put the shit one back on again.

He would also constantly play me and my sister against each other when we were growing up and always make comments to my parents about why one was better than the other, he did exactly the same to both sets of cousins on my mums side too.

But I only found out what he was really like when, some weeks after he returned home, my aunt went round to find him in the kitchen threatening my Grandma. My Aunt took my Gran back to hers and it turned out that since he had come out of hospital he had been getting increasingly aggressive toward my Gran. Since my Gran didn’t want to go back home, she ended up staying at my mum and dads house for what must have been almost a year.

I spoke to my Mum about the situation and it turns out that when she was young, he used to beat up my Gran every now and then.

After a year or so, he had another stroke. This one was a lot worse and although he can walk and see and hear and all, he can’t speak. Well, he can speak, but he talks utter gibberish and random words.

He’s now in a nursing home, it’s a very nice nursing home, but a secure one as he keeps trying to escape (he’s managed it a couple of times but the police keep catching him and sending him back), and my Gran still goes to see him every now and then, but we constantly try to encourage her not too, as when she does go he often tries to keep her handbag and gets all narky and agressive with her so the staff have to come and tell him off.

So what does this have to do with advice? Well, the best advice I learned from my Grandad was this:

Kids, don’t be a sadistic wife abusing cunt who enjoys playing mind games with young children because being the laughing stock of your entire family while you’re stuck in a nursing home with a bunch of other dribblers while probably being quite aware of everything that’s going on but unable to communicate with anyone else must really fucking suck.

Length? I’ve got no idea, I haven’t seen him for over a decade. Cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:10, 7 replies)

hi al!
good story. have a click.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:15, closed)

Aside from everything else
why on earth would you keep a brand new exhaust, go to the effort of sticking it on the car for MOT's and then take it off again?

Kudos to your gran for not killing him.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:19, closed)

What a tosser.
Missed you al.
*blows kisses*

@becky so that it passes, but then he can save on wear and tear on the new one and use it again. Crafty old git.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:26, closed)

crafty old git tight fisted git.

afternoon by the way.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:29, closed)

Well sure but
wouldn't the old one be really really fucked if he's doing it time after time and therefore rather dangerous to the occupants to the car. Money rules all I guess for some people
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 23 Jun 2008, 16:41, closed)

Christ that's grim.
But oddly life affirming at the same time. Sounds like he deserves his fate. Have a click.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 23 Jun 2008, 22:08, closed)