Games Master! Welcome welcome.
Ahh the memories, oh the humiliation.

A fair few years ago when I was a Crap Young Monkey I was a member of the Games Master fan club. Sounded great but all I got a couple of magazines and an invite to be in the audience of the new show.

The new show had moved from a dingy church to a dingy power plant. I was so excited to be going. When I got there it turned out that there was only 4-5 other people who had turned up for the morning shooting (there was alot more expected for the afternoon shoot) so, after they shot a couple of games we were given a quick tour of the place and left in the "warm up" room to play with the gamers that had, after alot of hard work and effort managed to be accepted/invited to appear on the show. We had fun and I managed to humiliate a Bomberman champion 3-0 (purely beginners luck I might add) But old Dominic whopped my ass at tennis.

So I'm chilling out backstage at Gamesmaster, having alot of fun and my mum walks over to me and asks if I want to appear on Games Master as they were ahead of time and had a slot for a filler game. ofc I jumped at the chance and was given a 5 minute explanation how to play this game and 15 minutes to practice.

Then the moment came. I was guided to the top of the stairs and was given my 1st view of the assembled crowd, much much bigger than this morning. All the balconies full of expectant children waiting for the enxt combatant. Then, the Mighty Dominic Diamond called forht my name and I began my decent towards greatness. Unfortunatly, about 1/2 way down the stairs something inside me went eep! and my brain decided to take a nice little sprint out the building, down the road and all the way back home, leaving the rest of me to be greeted by the DD.

There I was, the lighting burning my eyes, sweat pouring off my like a pedo in a clown suit, the quite murmer of 1000 school children gazing down on me (maybe not that many but it felt like it) Dominic greets me with a warm smile and a huge microphone.

Words come out of DD's mouth, these words seem familiar but I just can't seem to comprehend their meaning. The 1st word is running around my head trying to get itself recognise, my mouth tests it out once, then a second time trying to recognise it's meaning and my appropiate response to no avail. This results in this conversation:


DD: "Welcome."
Me: (in full brain locked panic mode) "..... welcome, welcome?"

The rest of the conversation was a complete blur, thanks to panic having set her snares deep.


Needless to say I didn't do too well at my challenege. I did manage to reach the end but messed up on the Boss. I can't even remeber what hapepned once I had lost or how I got home but I do remember I managed to run off before taken into the clutches of the "diver" (someone dressed as a diver that took failed gamers away to gamers hell, was in fact a fit model woman)

There was 1 consolation though. My screen time was only a filler and it was highly unlikely that it would ever see the light of day.

That is, of course, until the day my Dad told me that the guy he shares an office with was going out with Dominic Diamond's mum and that he had passed the word down. Crap.

Ever damn week I wat hed and recorded Games Master hoping and praying that I would and wouldn't appear in equal measures. Just when it looked like I was going to be left off the hook the day came when I missed an episode. Can you guess what happened?

The next day I went to school like any normal day. The journey there was completly uneventful, waslking into school and to my classroom was just as bland and then.... I opened up my classroom door and was greeted with an enthusiastic roar of:

"GAAMMEESSMAASSTTEERR!!"

That's right, evey person in my class had seen Games Master last night and had recognised the shy kid who had a sever case of stage fright.

For the rest of my time at school I never managed to live the nickname of "Gamesmaster" down.

P.S. I bet you can't guess what my dad gave to me a couple of weeks afterwards? The unedited tape of my TV debut disaster. He thought since I'd forgotten to record it that I would appreciate having a copy of my humiliation so that my sister could show it to my friends whenever I pissed her off.


*EDIT and I have absolutely no clue to why I said "Welcome welcome" to DD. The mockery this moment has brought me has left me doing my best to avoid that word as much as possible.

*EDIT2 Have added spelling and made the story read a bit better.

*EDIT3 The video: I'm sorry. I am not sure where my viedo of this event is. If I can find it I will post it. (video recorded onto DVD imported to PC) but please remember that this tape is something I did my best to keep hidden away out of sight where my sister couldn't find it. I'll look and see if I can post my humiliation.
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:01, 3 replies)

click
Great story!
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:56, closed)

I sincerely hope you tube this before the week is out.
It would be worth the extortionate amount I'm charged for bandwidth to see it.
(Helixdaunting, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 1:54, closed)

Gamesmaster
Haven't heard that word in a while!
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 16:42, closed)