I was told this tale last night, by my dear friend Katie.
Katies sister in law has just given birth, last weekend in fact, to a beautiful baby girl. During a delightful evening of beer and telly, Katie told us the tale of visiting her newborn Neice and the proud new Mum and Dad in hospital, just after she got squeezed out into the world.

This kid was 3 weeks late. As you can imagine, it was hefty. Katie delighted in telling us that the sheer size of the kid, and the force of her last push, meant the baby literally shot out of the womb, nearly flying out the midwifes hands. This caused the woman to split in two (quite literally), meaning she had to have incredibly painful stitches in places no man should ever go with a needle.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you say. Every mother goes through that. And I appreciate this is true. However what made the story was this.

Katie gently approached her sister-in-law after the birth, approaching with great caution (as everyone should approach a woman who has gone through that ordeal), she softly asked "how was it?" Expecting a tearful account of pain but beauty, and an experience so heartwarmingly moving, she prepared herself for mushiness.

"It felt like a house fell on me."

Ouch...
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 20:45, 1 reply)

My best friends mum had the best comeback for childbirth.
I remember her daughter talking about it being a beautiful experience. Mum happily chimes in with, "Oh no, it's like a fucking Wes Craven film down there!"
(reech, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:03, closed)