Animal and Work Colleague Abuse
I currently work in a call centre which, while slowly chipping away at what remains of my soul, provides me with beer money for the weekend. It also provides me with a few genuine laughs, thanks to the people I work with.

There's a girl in the office who is...hmmm, how can I put this delicately...fat as fuck. It's as if Dawn French had eaten Rick Waller, Chris Moyles and Brian Blessed in one sitting. If you need to walk across the office, you have to compensate for her gravitational pull. In short, she's fat. Very very fat.

While wandering past my desk, she stops and starts rubbing her legs with a groaning sound. "You alright?" I ask, while surreptitiously clicking to hide my internet browser. "Yeah, my legs are just a bit sore," came the reply from the female Michelin man. "It's probably all that walking you're doing," I said, while thinking "And all the excess weight you're lugging around."

"No, it's not that," she replied. "I've started horseriding, and it takes a bit of getting used to."

As I start to nod in sympathy, one of my workmates, who's just stood up to visit the coffee machine, shakes his head, and says, "That poor fucking horse"

Apparently you could hear the sound of the slap from downstairs
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:20, 2 replies)

good man

( zulu eh?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 13:56, closed)

Shouldn't laugh.
... But I once worked with a woman who was around 20 stone (educated guess) who used to ride a scooter to work.
We couldn't help but laugh as she tried to fit between gaps in the traffic.
(perhaps this was one for the guilty laughs. I'm not Brad Pit myself so I honestly do not judge people on looks.)
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 17:45, closed)