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This is a question Ouch!

A friend was once given a biopsy by a sleep-deprived junior doctor.
They needed a sample of his colon, so inserted the long bendy jaws-on-the-end thingy, located the suspect area and... he shot through the ceiling. Doctor had forgotten to administer any anaesthetic.

What was your ouchiest moment?

(, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 17:29)
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Air Borne
When I was in school, me & my mate Day used to sneak off to the nearby park at dinner time. No real reason too, we didn't smoke & there was fuck all to do other than sit on the swings, we just weren't supposed too & this appealed to us. Anyway, one day, things changed. We had some company... Sarah & Liz! They were a couple of girls from our form who were known for their loose ways back then, & for some reason, they wanted to be around our chubby, twisted selves. "We're in here", we both thought, & thus set about trying to impress them, mainly by outdoing one another. It was at this point, someone suggested, "Who could jump furthest off the swing". Day was 1st up, getting a bit of a swing on, he jumped, 6 feet maybe. Just by the edge of the protective wood chips. The girls seemed impressed. "THAT WAS SHIT YOU QUEER!!!" I yelled, attempting to make him look bad to make the girls like me more! "Let's see you do better then" he replied. "Piece of piss" thought I, & so I began swinging, higher & higher, bar to bar, full pelt, waiting for the right moment... Then it arrived. I got to the highest swing point & pushed away. I was air borne. A few seconds passed. Still air borne. "Wow me" I thought to myself, "Those girls are gonna sooooooooooooo impressed". Then I landed.

I hadn't thought about this part, it genuinely never crossed my mind. In a crumpled heap on the ground, I looked back to see the swings some 40+ feet away. The distance didn't matter all of a sudden. I was down & I was hurt. I lay in a crumpled mess, the other 3... Where pissing themselves! "Don't let them see your hurt" my stupid teenage brain thought. I had come down on my right arm, which by the grace of God, wasn't broken, infact, nothing was broken, or cut, or sprained, or twisted. My only injury was bruising... Of the ribs!

I've broken toes & fingers before, I've cut all manner of bits open, I've snorted wasabi, I've squeezed a 2 year old blackhead the size of a ball bearing in my penis! But nothing, NOTHING!!! Has ever hurt like bruised ribs. Moving- Makes them hurt. Breathing- Makes them hurt. Holding your breath- Makes them hurt a bit. Breathing out after holding your breath- Makes them hurt alot. Just simply being- Makes them hurt!

For nearly 3 weeks, I was in constant pain, & because it was self inflicted, no-one gave a fuck, I even had to go to school because my mum was so pissed off at me for going out at lunch time!

Oh yeah, & a week later, Sarah & Liz were going out with 2 bigger boys from the year above who regularly fucked them senseless during dinner time in the park by our school, sometimes on those bastard swings!
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 4:47, 7 replies)
Are you a Monk?
How did you manage to leave your cock alone for 2 years? I can't leave mine alone for..........(Sorry. Got distracted. Was playing with my cock) 2 minutes.

"A 2 year old blackhead the size of a ball bearing in my penis"? Jesus. If you're not a monk, you must be single, and frustrated.
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 8:00, closed)
'a 2 year old blackhead the size of a ball bearing in my penis'
you disgust me
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 8:18, closed)
Great story. But I want to hear about the penis too
I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 8:37, closed)
as a wearer of a penis, and lover of flange/top-bollocks...
...it's more the blackhead than the penis for me, thanks.

Reading that back, either way, it doesn't read well does it?
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 10:25, closed)
40 ft....really?
The jump that is, not the penis.
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 9:25, closed)
never mind the rest of the story
how the hell did you get a blackhead on your old fella?
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:42, closed)
The black head story...
www.b3ta.com/questions/ouch/post815624
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 13:18, closed)

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