Not the largest, but the most annoying:
I got a small bit of toilet tissue stuck up my arse once. It was really itchy. That 'supersoft' paper disintegrates too easily.
( 4Q just lurking, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 21:15, 7 replies)

After years of trying different brands
I have to say, Andrex is the best. I fucking HATE their ads with that bastardous stampable puppy, but, it has to be said, they make excellent bumwad. The rolls ALWAYS start with no hassle, no fiddling about tearing strips off, and the paper IS soft and strong just as they claim. No I don't own shares. I'm just a fat old lardass who knows what's good for him.

There are those who swear by that hard, shiny, crackly chemical stuff (IZAL), but these people are all masochists and/or paeaedoeaoaephiles.

Andrex. It's the only way to be sure.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 21:19, closed)

I prefer the cheap recycled stuff - it's hardy but not overly abrasive.

( 4Q just lurking, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 21:22, closed)

But seems to get
stuck up your ass?

Ah whatever your choice young man.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 22:35, closed)

I can't dictate the toilet paper policy for every facility I use.
But thanks for the tip anyway.
( 4Q just lurking, Sat 15 Dec 2012, 0:38, closed)

My pleasure
Here's another one: always carry a roll with you.

Learned that the hard way.

One day, you WILL thank me.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 16 Dec 2012, 21:07, closed)

It sounds like there's a funny story behind this

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 2:09, closed)

I have a young daughter, so I always carry a small packet of hankies and a small packet of wet-wipes.
If that turns out not to be enough, I suppose I could always buy a new woolly hat.
( 4Q just lurking, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 19:51, closed)