I want you, I need you, ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
It's 1987, and I'm sitting on a coach in France on a school trip, just turned 13 years old. Next to me is my first ever girlfriend. The first hand I've ever held, the first girl I've ever taken to the cinema ("House II: The Second Storey", of all things and yes, I am sure that its an 18, they just didn't care at the old ABC in Brentwood High Street), The first girl ever to put her tongue in my mouth. The love of my sheltered and pathetic 13 year old life. To my right ear, I am holding half a set of headphones awkwardly while she holds the other half to her left ear as we listen to Meatloaf crooning away..."Baby we can talk all night, but that'll never change the way that I feel"...We are holding hands as the coach takes us to a Normandy Oyster Farm..."The snow is really piling up outside, I wish you wouldn't make me leave here"...I look at her, she looks at me, we smile like loves young dream..."I've poured it on and I've poured it out, but that ain't getting us nowhere"...the coach stops and Debbie's friend Natalie walks down the aisle to where we are sitting. She says she needs to speak to Debbie in private, so would I mind putting my headphones on and turning the volume up?

Of course don't mind. Anything for Debbie. So sitting there, with Meatloaf blasting full volume into my tiny youthful eardrums, I am privvy to the following conversation:

"Debbie, you won't believe this, Ian says he likes you!"

"Oh, I've liked Ian for ages, I only said I'd go out with Scarpe because I thought Ian liked you!"

"I'll tell him"

"And I'll tell Scarpe after the disco tonight"

And the worst thing is, I let her.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:05, 6 replies)

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
That's harsh. Click.
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 15:14, closed)

In fairness,
I had made her listen to Meat Loaf. Ian would never have done that. The Wham! loving gaylord.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 15:59, closed)

Ha!
Yeah, you were asking for trouble from the start with that one.
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 16:59, closed)

Did you act surprised?

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 15:14, closed)

I trust you
strangled her with her own tights that night, and blamed the creepy caretaker at the youth hostel.
(username failed moderation, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 15:31, closed)

Ha ha.
Excellent.
(Rsoles, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 11:07, closed)

Oh God
The grief! The weird thing is that because you were 13 it just makes it SO CUTE at the same time.
(Smysha Tra la la!, Sat 27 Aug 2011, 17:57, closed)