I wasn't there, but wished I was...
...at our office's xmas 'do last year, when it was decided that Secret Santa action would be quite fun. And for most, it was. I always make sure I have other plans for functions such as that - I spend 40 hours a week with that lot, so the rest of my time is set aside for people I actually care about, thanks very much.

There's one girl in our office who munches on garlic daily as part of some keep-fit kick - she takes that stuff really seriously - I wouldn't mind, but in the three years I've worked for the company she's come down with some fucking scary bugs including mumps, dysentery and for-real 'flu. She spends hours per day at the gym and everything. Just goes to show ;)

Anyway, one of the lads who likes a joke (most often at other peoples' expense) drew this girl for his Secret Santa. The garlic wasn't difficult to detect for anyone in the office, so when this girl opened her pressise she found a jumbo tub of odour-free garlic pearles.

It would have been funnier if the girl had seen the funny side herself, rather than going through the roof and demanding to know who had got them so she could have them disciplined. Bosses told her, as politely as they could, to get the fuck over it. Not surprised at that, seeing as this girl sits very near them in the office.

The same girl once flashed her tits at a colleague during another xmas 'do before my time and pestered him for a shag all night. You'd think that all that keep-fit action would make the girl at least marginally attractive - think again. If I wasn't already gay, I'd convert in a second if she was the only candidate I had. Suffice to say, my colleague declined her offer(s).
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Wed 28 Dec 2005, 10:19, Reply)