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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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See ladies
These young lads have no idea..
Do let them use you as a flesh dojo. You are not a practice mat.

Go out with older "fatter" designers. We may not have the energy to keep going for hours and hours of joyless pumping.

But we know what we are doing - call in the experts when you need something doing right.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 10:26, 1 reply)
had a hot date with a virgin too
he was rather good looking too. Aaron i think. Went out, nice meal, lots of lovely booze etc. so i took him home for some heavy petting on the couch ( as you do ) After lots of drooly snogging i realised his bottom was going up n down.( i was laying on the couch , he was laying ontop of me.) It appeared he was having sex. I leaned up to have a peek over his shoulder and he did indeed have his pants down. I was confused as i felt nothing and was sure my bloomers were still on. They were too coz i slid a hand down to check.
My attractive virgin was actually shagging the gap between two of the couch cushions.
He continued to climax, must have thought i was having some kind of orgasm too what with the silent guffawing i was doing by now. Me and my massively baggy strangely furry on the inside warm and dry vagina.
Needless to say i told everyone i could think of and never saw him again.( i had to make sure i didnt get a rep for having a furry on the inside vadge.)
Aaron shagged my couch and never called it for a second date. The utter monster. Shame he was so pretty.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 11:38, closed)

I love this, so so funny! xx
(, Sat 14 Aug 2010, 1:02, closed)

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