Old people on the bus
Old people on buses drive me up the wall. I reckon they should have an upper age limit; once you're over seventy, you can just fuck off.

Firstly, there's the rush to the bus at the bus stop. Those old fuckers shuffle around town and get in the way of shop doorways all the live long day, but fuck me, they can FLY when they hear the bus coming. Their wrinkled faces set in determination as they cling to their bus passes and oversized purses, just DARING you to make a fuss because, I don't know, YOU'VE BEEN WAITING AT THAT SODDING BUS STOP TWENTY MINUTES LONGER THAN THOSE OLD CUNTS. WHATS MORE, AFTER ACTUAL WORK, NOT JUST DAWDLING FROM SHOP TO SHOP, DECIDING WHAT FUCKING BRAND OF BISCUITS TO TRY THIS WEEK, THEN SETTLING FOR BASTARD BOURBOURNS.

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't take a fucking YEAR to get their tickets, setting down their huge ass shopping back to fiddle through their purse, when they've had seventy or so years to get their change/pass out READY. They laugh, chuckle, and flirt with the bus driver, as if they've got all the time in the world, when ACTUALLY the grains of sand are always falling.

Then, it comes to actual seating. Well, WHEN they actually sit down. They just tend to stand in the aisle, exclaiming 'OH, HELLO MABEL' to another of their fellow coffin dodgers, somewhat forgetting they're on a bus and there's PEOPLE who just want to sit the fuck down before the bus starts moving. Then, shock of shock, you're supposed to give up your seat for them if there's none left. When you actually PAY for your seat!

... okay, so I do give up my seat for the old feckers. And have I ONCE been thanked for it? Nope. They just give me a superior smirk as they settle down, shopping bags blocking the actual aisle I'm supposed to stand in. Even when I was on crutches one time, I stood up for the old feckers since I only had one stop to go, and they had the cheek to moan about ungrateful young persons. LO, I WAS CRIPPLED AND STANDING. FUCK YOU, GRANNY GRIMBLES.

And the bastards aren't as deaf as they'd leave you to believe. I casually remarked to my acquaintance on getting onto a bus packed to the windows with fogies that 'the stench of death was strong in here', when I got a few evils from some of the ones sat way down at the front.

Graah... *rants*
(Aruu does not put all her trust in root vegetables., Fri 2 May 2008, 0:13, 5 replies)

They know.
Oh yes indeed they know full well what they are doing. When you are old you are entitled to barge to the front of any queue, be as rude as you like to any young whippersnappers (anyone under 50) and let rip with the most noxious old biddy farts in any situation you feel like without even a minor blush. Racism? These oldsters could give the KKK a run for their money, but that's fine. They were brought up when that was normal and acceptable. Also the old women love to make you feel uncomfortable by sitting there with their legs wide open.
Also they smell like TCP.
(Prof. Moriarty put his foot in it on, Fri 2 May 2008, 0:36, closed)

hah!
i hate the ones who go on about the front seats being just for elderly passengers. i'm disabled, although outwardly, you can't tell. i often find walking difficult and will generally take a front seat on the bus if there's one available. i took the bus with my mum once and some old witch got on, stood in front of me and kind of harrumphed at me. i didn't budge.
"these seats are only for the elderly!" she shrieks.
at this point, my mum leans over(she was sitting behind me) and says "excuse me, but those seats are for the elderly and disabled. my daughter is disabled and fully entitled to sit there." the hag looks right at her, then at me, then back at her and squawks "she doesn't look disabled to me!"
fossilized old bitch.
(LIMES, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:32, closed)

Agreed
A while ago, on the bus to work, a woman got on the bus with her son (who had cerebral palsy) and sat at the front, like you do. Next stop, an old biddy gets on (not a shuffling, Yoda-sized one either, the perfectly active, wears a jump suit all the time type) and practically sat on the poor lad, until his mother basically told her to fuck off.
For the rest of the journey the silly old bag kept making "ooh, he's very good, not too retarded"-type comments as well.

And the filthy old bastard who used to get on in the mornings. Filty dirty, reeking(and I mean stink the bus out bad) of piss and booze. A pensioner, yes, but in no way disabled or otherwise incapable of washing himself. Just a lazy old cunt who couldn't care less about smelling like a toilet.
(Crayola Oblongata Is it Monday?, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:36, closed)

TCP
I take it you mean Tom Cats Piss. Smelly old feckers. Hope I die before I get old.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 2 May 2008, 12:55, closed)

Heehee....
Damn you! I am at work and laughed out loud at this (especially the HELLO MABEL part. My colleague is looking at me funny.
(YayLady is cold, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:14, closed)