I suppose I should compose a list like everyone else.
Team sports- fine, I get that most people like them, but there are some of us who really don't. I would really rather not go to a bar for a pint and have some choad leap from his stool, punch the air and belm because some overpaid twit kicked a ball. Go see it in person, you wanker.

Jet skis, snowmobiles, dirtbikes and other loud machines that carry assholes at high speeds into areas where they don't belong. I'd love to be able to canoe or sail on a lake without having to listen to someone else's public masturbation. Please, if you're riding one of these things and you're not an emergency medic rescuing someone, do us all a favor and find something very solid to ram.

Hummers and other excessive vehicles. Do I really need to spell that one out any further? Didn't think so.

Cyclists who insist on riding over bridges during rush hour traffic, causing a massive slowdown. Look, I heartily approve of riding a bike, and am glad you enjoy doing so- but riding on a main route that has no bike lane during rush hour causes nervous people to slow down rather than risk passing you and possibly having you fall under their wheels. I'm glad you love your spandex, but that is really not the time to be showing off how cute your ass is in your expensive outfit- I haven't had my coffee yet, and you're between it and me. (Not to mention that your ass really isn't cute- either it's a bony little lump or it's a gelatinous wad of cottage cheese beneath that spandex, and after being ground into a bike seat probably has a rather strong odor reminiscent of Courtney Love.) And I happen to be in control of over a ton of metal with tremendous kinetic energy, while you're on about thirty pounds of tinsel. Who do you think will win this argument? Get the fuck off of the main road, go pedal along side streets or bike trails, and everyone will benefit. (And yes, you narcissistic fop, that WAS me leaning on my car's horn at you.)

This list will continue later. Right now I need to get back to work.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 May 2008, 13:14, Reply)