Oh now you've got me started...
What pisses me off? Got all year? Rub your eyes and pull up a comfy beanbag.

You chavvy munters who wear those fecking huge hoops in your ears. They do not look nice, they look like something you'd rest your ankles in while shagging. Urrgh.

No, I do not want to listen to your horrible shouty gangster/thrash/whatever combination of themes is in fashion this week, through your tinny speakered little chav phone. Twots.

Oi, you little bastards who think it's funny to ride your scabby little mopeds three abreast up and down my road all day - you wouldn't think it funny if one of you was knocked off by the speeding chavscumsuckers who use the road as a practice run for Silverstone, now would you? Besides, it disturbs Mr Twaddle (who is already disturbed...we won't dwell on that)


Old people who congratulate me on having such a beautiful little girl. I do have a beautiful girl, she is 21, and if you bothered putting the right fecking glasses on, you would see that the beaming cherub of which you have such a high opinion, you would see that he is a little boy! Who would quite rightly kick you in the chuff if I trained him properly.


The fucking job centre. For sending me on New Deal courses where all we do is exchange filth, visit B3ta and sleep. Not very inspiring. Leave me alone so that I can find my own job ie, one that pays me more than the price of a tin of beans per week. You bastards.

The Odeon cinema in my town who refuse to show Oscar winning films because "they're not family friendly". Fair enough, if they have a 15 or an 18 rating. But why are you not showing "Twenty One"? Because you're twunts, that's why, who know bastard all about anything.

The bastard child who scratched my son's face the other week. And his bastard mum who didn't even bother coming over to apologise or even see if the whimpering toddler (mine) was ok. No. She just picked up her obnoxious little brat and kissed him better! Hope he grows up to be a Tory minister with a fetish problem.


I love everybody. No really.......
(pussy twaddle performs indiscretions in branches of Millets..., Fri 2 May 2008, 22:28, Reply)