"calm down"
This has always annoyed me, but it took me a long time to figure out why.

If you are in pain, there is a reason why you are in pain. If you are annoyed, there is a reason why you are annoyed. If you tell someone who is in pain to "feel better", what do you expect to happen?

It's a half-arsed attempt at treating the symptoms, and not the cause. It shows you don't care about the cause, or even believe there is a cause: it carries the insulting implication that your annoyance is irrational.

If I am annoyed, I can always explain why, and am prepared to do so at length: listening would show that you care about the problem, and are not trying to "handle" me. If you try to "handle" me, you are treating me as the problem, and ignoring the real problem.
( bnt what, me worry?, Sat 3 May 2008, 20:46, Reply)