Do You Know Who I Am?
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Working in IT is fun, most of the time, but I do have to deal with complete cock-heads some of the time.

In my exalted position in 3rd Line/Projects I rarely have to answer support calls directly but occasionally, especially during a major problem, calls will spill over from the Hell-Desk, to 2nd Line Support and eventually me to and my team.

This happened a few years back at a major Multi-National I was working at. We'd just lost our only Network link to Italy. That circuit didn't have any redundancy so Italy was down as far as we were concerned. Normally, this was bad news, but, in this instance, it was a fucking disaster as we were in the middle of preparing a bid for a huge contract and the deadline was only a few hours away. So, anyone involved in bid process phoned the helpdesk.

Helpdesk was rapidly flooded and calls spilled over into 2nd Line. Back in third-line, we were frantically tracing the fault, talking to external suppliers, and, in my case, trying to cobble together a VPN so Italy could link back over the Internet.

The calls mounted and soon 2nd Line was overwhelmed and our phones began to ring. And ring. And ring. Eventually I picked the phone up.

"Yes" I snapped.

"Do you know that there's a network link down in Italy" said Mr Anonymous

"Yes."

"So what are you doing to fix it" says Mr Anonymous

"Nothing" I said.

"Nothing! Nothing" he screamed "Why not?"

"Because I'm wasting my time talking to you"

*strangling noises down the line*

"Do you know who I am? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!" screamed Mr Anonymous

"No. But I know *what* you are" I said.

"I'm Vice President Cockwobble and I'll have your job for this!!

"Charming" I said. "Do you know who *I* am" enquired.

"Er no" says VP

"Then fuck off!!" and put the phone down...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 4 May 2008, 2:24, 1 reply)

copious "lollage"
and mirth

and kisses

xxx

p.s. can you tell us the one about the posh headmistress? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:31, closed)