Barking dogs
It's just coming up to 10.30pm, I've (finally) finished all the marking (hooray!) and now I'm thinking about going to bed.

Here out in the sticks there are very few street lights, little noise and generally it's a peaceful and quiet place to live.

So why on earth has that poor bloody dog been barking for the last chuffing hour?

It's quiet out here. Really quiet. So quiet that I didn't want to shout at the kids when they were dancing about and sniggering about the latest rude word they heard at school today (minge, actually) because their bedroom window was open and I didn't want to shout to the entire neighbourhood (six houses).

Yet that dog has been barking constantly for over an hour.

Ah! Now his mate has started up in support.

It's a dog rave.


Why is the dog barking? Well they're both working dogs and they live in kennels out the back of the local pub. They belong to the landlord. Maybe they're pissed off for some reason. Perhaps they're just angry at something.

Whatever it is, it's now pissing me off.

The landlord is obviously inside working.

He hasn't heard his dog barking.

Constantly.

For the last hour.

RSPCA or ear plugs?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 6 May 2008, 22:35, 6 replies)

Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, woof, woof
"The landlord is obviously inside wor wanking."

Is it Thursday yet?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 6 May 2008, 22:47, closed)

I go for
Secret option C - shotgun.

The solution to all lifes problems.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 7 May 2008, 0:37, closed)

I feel your pain.
I hate excessive woofing, too. Except I now have one of the blighters outside my bedroom window. And it's mine.

:(

We got her off my partner's ex-wife. The drunken fat sow had the poor beastie for 10 years until she decided she wanted a Paris Hilton-style handbag dog. So she was going to have her faithful old dog - that her (and my patner's) kids had grown up with, put down. What a fat cunt, eh? What kind of person does that?!

I feel like I was set up.

In an uncharacteristic fit of softness I volunteered us for doggy-adoption. But what else could I do?
The harsh reality is that I now have custody of a dog that has been sat in in a self-obsessed slag's backyard for ten years with absolutely no benefit of training (or, by the smell of her when we got her - washing). She's not leash-trained or house-trained, does not respond to verbal commands (ie, SHUT UP!) and chases my cats out of their own yard.
At least she's not morbidly obese any more - I and the cats have made some progress.
The saddest part about the whole thing is that every time the dog barks - a couple of times an hour, which is markedly less, I admit - I hate my lovely partner just a little bit for ever having slept with that disgusting chav-like hag.

RSPCA or earplugs? Every time a dog barks God should kill a chav.


(St Sepulchre's Belle tolled for thee on, Wed 7 May 2008, 1:58, closed)

Laxative Chocolate
One bar per dog, every time they have a late-night woof-fest.

The owner will soon get the message.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:40, closed)

@osok
Chocolate is toxic for dogs.

Still, I suppose their being dead WOULD stop the barking.
(Musuko, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:16, closed)

All right, all right
"Chocolatey flavoured laxative substance cunningly formed into a bar, quite possibly using the same faux-chocolate material used to make the Choccy Doggy Treaty things sold in great numbers to the owners of the groin-sniffing fleabags"
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 7 May 2008, 15:41, closed)