Local radio stations
Driving home from Canterbury yesterday evening gave me yet another opportunity to sample the delights that rural radio stations have to offer. Dear god...

"And dwat was the 1987 hid from D'Pau, widh China in Your Hand. Nod a lod of people know dwad da name of dwe band D'Pau is acdually daken from an episode of Sdwar Drek"

Smashey and Nicey live.

I've nothing against T'Pau or for that matter Carol Dekker, whom I'd very much liked to have had something against during my early teens. What does irritate me is the utter dross that these faux cheerful DJs seem to waffle on about all day long. Then there's the day time phone in, this one I actually heard a few years back.

"This is SGR Ipswich FM [cue jingle *Essss Geeee Arrrr Efff Emmmm....*] and your chance to talk about the issues in Suffolk today. First caller is Zachary from Bury St Edmunds, on this afternoon's special phone in subject, 'What do you think those solar panels on poles by the side of the road are for'. Go ahead Zachary"

"Oooo, well I thunk they're chargin' summat. Like baa'ries or summat"

I kid you not, a whole swathe of middle England's factories and housewives are paying for the electricity to listen to bollocks like this excuse for cutting edge radio phone in programming.

I recall the summer of 1999 being out in the car with a knackered tape player. I tuned in to Radio 1, which was playing Fat Boy Slim and Right Here, Right Now. The next five local stations I tuned into were all playing the same track at the same time. Except the last (Colchester's very own Dream 100 FM) which was playing Something In the Air Tonight.

Five out of six radio stations all playing the same track. You'd think someone would have checked? Fair play to Dream 100 for bucking the trend, although last time I was in the area Dream 100's entire catalogue of airplay seems to be Phil Collins. Unless of course, you're lucky enough to tune in during Bryan Adams Day.

It's that unmistakeable beigeness of middle of the road music which dates from anywhere in between 1985 and 2005 and usually ends up being recycled over and over as soon as they've bored playing their favourite top twenty track of the week for the eighteenth time today. It really is like being force fed porridge through your ears.

Followed by shit adverts and jingles, smarmy DJs and yet more jingles...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 7 May 2008, 0:58, 2 replies)

It's Nickelback day today
I am forced to endure local radio from 0900-1800 EVERY FRIGGING DAY.

Except when someone sticks their favourite Tom Jones CD on. On repeat.

Not having to endure this goes some way to making redundancy palatable.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 7 May 2008, 9:56, closed)

Oh Christ
I was honestly beginning to believe that I was the only one who felt this way. People are lapping this shit up, these fucking jingles and the way it REPEATS OVER AND OVER the same songs at the SAME FUCKING TIMES.

I actually broke the radio secretly in our work van because the twunt I was working for at the time was one of these close-minded, blinkered muppets.

Arn't all these small commercial stations actually under one huge corperate umbella? That would explain the sameness.

Wouldn't that mean there was also one nexus of evil, one point where a strike could silence them forever?
(oneltrchardonnay, Wed 7 May 2008, 17:48, closed)