The day I became a book-thumping evangelist...
I'm not one for confrontation. I hate it. I prefer to be left alone. It's much nicer. But sometimes people say things which are so monumentally stupid, one HAS to stand up and be counted. This was one of those days...

I was walking through my town centre just going from shop to shop seeing whether there was anything worth buying. There wasn't. But as I criss-crossed through the town centre I kept walking past a crowd of people who were intently listening to a family (a rather extended one) spouting off about the Bible. Although I eschew religion, I've no right to impose my views on anyone else, so I just carried on. Anyway, as I walked away from them I heard the head of the family shout out these words:

"People. Do not let others brainwash you. Evolution is a myth! There is no scientific evidence behind it. It is a plot to discredit the one, true God!"

I stopped in my tracks and stared at the crowd. They'd hit my button. If you believe in an invisible man in the sky, fair play to you. If you try to discredit evolution with your creationist nonsense. Then we have a problem. A major one.

I burrowed my way into the crowd to listen further. I didn't like what I heard. Then, I reached my breaking point.

"Even the heretic, Charles Darwin, didn't believe in his theory. He said 'To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree..'"

"Bollocks!" came a squeaky voice from the crowd (my voice is rather squeaky) "You lying sack of shits!" That was probably not the best thing to say. I stormed up onto the stage.

"Are you calling us liars?"
"Yes, I bloody am! Charles Darwin DID say that, but what did he say right after that sentence...?"
"We don't know but the Bible says..."
"Well I'll tell you, shall I?! Charles Darwin did say 'To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree' but, and I'm paraphrasing here, he went on to say that 'when it was first proposed that the Earth went around the sun, common sense dictated that the theory couldn't be true because we could see the sun moving. We now know that is not the case.'. So, in essence, he's saying that although I can't fathom how the human eye evolved, that's not to say that it didn't. It could be counter-intuitive."

The bible bashers looked very rattled at this stage. More accurately, the LEAD bible basher looked rattled, but I'll come to that later. I carried on my diatribe.

"So, these people tried to mislead you with that quote. If they tried to be disingenuous with that, what else have they said which could be a half-truth? Also, you lot have broken one of the ten commandments. 'Thou shall not bear false witness'."

The leader hit back, "But shouldn't people be given both sides of the debate???" They hit another button with me

"Other side of the debate? OTHER SIDE OF THE DEBATE??? There IS no 'other side of the debate'! Creationism is not a equally balanced but opposing view. It's a bunch of half-baked, logic skewing hypotheses with no evidence to back it up! And furthermore, where did you get the impression that science is a democratic process? If you mix hydrochloric acid with sodium hyroxide you end up with sodium chloride (salt) and water. But if we had a referendum and 100% of the vote said 'we believe if you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide you'll end up with sliver nitrate and hydrofluoric acid', does that mean if you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide again, you'll get different end products?! NO! You don't change the laws of the chemistry by a vote! Likewise, all the evidence we have, and we have a lot of it, points towards evolution, and until someone has enough evidence to point to another theory, then, AND ONLY THEN, will we entertain the theory. We need evidence, not a vote!"

I, then, walked off the stage. I tried to resist the urge to stage dive. Misrepresenting science by a bunch of ill-educated religiosos in a bid to add credence to "the one, true God", was something I was not permitting while I was around.

As I walked away from the crowd, I felt a rush of adrenaline. I normally avoid public speaking as I don't like being the centre of attention, it makes me uncomfortable. I suppose that's why I like the internet and the anonymity it brings. But I learnt that day, if it's something you feel passionately about, you won't worry about the fear.

I looked back at the crowd and saw that the lead bible thumper was trying to rally his troops after being exposed as a bunch of half-truth tellers. But what was really interesting was the rest of his flock starting to doubt their leader. After all, if he was equivocating about science and evolution, what else has he been equivocating about? I never saw them again, but I hope they didn't lose their faith but were a bit more respectful toward science. I hope they heed the words a famous person:

"Don't take my word for it. Think for yourself..."
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:28, 9 replies)

Well done that man
...and 'click'.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:49, closed)

Oh, this is fantastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:56, closed)

Heroic effort
Well done.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:23, closed)

that's some top-notch evangelist confusing
have a click
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:36, closed)

Had I been there
I would have given you a round of applause. As I wasn't, have a click.
(BoredCouncilWorker, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:58, closed)

Magnificent.
Have a well deserved *click*
(Mr Fudge It shouldn't be illegal to have sex with an eagle, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:39, closed)

You'll burn in hell for that

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:47, closed)

I don't think that's
what Jesus would've done...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 4:13, closed)

I love this

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 22 Aug 2011, 13:51, closed)