Broke my leg during mini motorcycle racing with my workmates (another story) . But anyhow , we work weekends and only get paid the premium if we turn up - so I blagged a lift from my shiftmate and sat on my arse for 8hours every day doing f`all . But..this was during the petrol strike about 10 (?) years agoish and our HR dept. informed everyone that they couldn`t put in a self certification if you were sick (even for 1 day) , you`d need a doctors paper for the duration of the strike . So , as usual (over the 6 week period) I turned up in my plaster on the Monday , with a trip to the infirmary for the plaster removal booked for Tuesday - went into HR and saw the front desk clerk and , she said it`d be fine . Had the Tuesday off a la plaster off . Went back in on the Wednesday , with a message from HR awaiting me "asking where the feck I was and I`d better have a doc`s note" . I limped into HR and saw the head manager , told him I`d already spoken to HR and they said it was fine (as the infirmary don`t do doctors notes) . He then accused me of trying to pull a scam and I had to have a doctors note - at this point my head went , "I was in here on Monday with a plaster on my leg , I had it removed yesterday and now its not there (pulling my trouser leg up to make an overdramatic and unnecessary point). How do you think it disappeared ? flipping magic ?" , (at this point I turned it back down a notch as I remembered I was talking to a. a senior manager and b. a grade A twat/cunt ). He just said "Mmmm , still want one , its the rules , even if they are temporary" .

Still , it gave me a story to tell everyone .
(Helikaon, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 14:34, 6 replies)

just so you know - this isn't a story.
at best, it's a dull internal monologue. probably an idea to keep it that way, eh?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 21:44, closed)

His other 'story' is about doing a tax return.
In comparison, this one is a fucking Ronnie Corbett monologue.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 22:27, closed)

You need shit stories to make good ones stand out
(Helikaon, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 14:40, closed)

shame you couldn't follow your own advice Janet

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 16:20, closed)

(Shut up)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 0:10, closed)

Yeah, no it didn't.
Don't tell anyone this "story" again.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 13:26, closed)