You'll all be doing it...
I have a very real fear of sitting on the toilet wrong.

Allow me to explain; a good while back now, while in a bit of a hurry I very nearly sat on half a bollock and ended up in some pain.

I think an example you can all work with is required:

- Take a grape and a surface edge, preferably one with a bit of a corner on it.

- Place said grape half on the table and half over the edge.

- Apply some downward pressure and watch grape tear along the edge and then essentially explode.

With this near miss always a present fear, no matter how desperate I am, those last few inches on to the toilet seat are veeeeeeeeeeery slow and even more precise.
(NDayave , Hooray For, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:15, 6 replies)

But
Bollocks are waaaay tougher than grapes.

Well, chewier at least.


What?

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:16, closed)

Owwwwwwww!
*watches grapes in future*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:18, closed)

If a man in a soho kareoke bar
offers you one of the chinese delicacies that he's eating, just say no.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:20, closed)

althegeordie is about to confess to having eaten balls!
*waits*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 12:21, closed)

Nah......
You just grab 'em with your hand and lift 'em upwards.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 13:10, closed)

i feel sick
sick i tells ya
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 15 Apr 2008, 15:50, closed)