Fish & potatoes
From a very young age I realised that the steaming mass on my plate (so called 'Fish Pie') both minged and left bones stuck in my throat.

My mum on the other hand saw this as a challenge. Every single fucking mealtime was dominated by some sort of mashed/boiled/shredded/baked potato arrangement which required me to hold my nose and shut my eyes for every mouthful. When it wasn't potatoes, it was fish. Why? It stinks to high heaven, is full of tiny little bones which make you gag and the seas aren't exactly free from pollution and under-trawled are they?

"Don't be silly dear, noone doesn't like potatoes or fish!".

I'm not unreasonable and would east most of what was put in front of me, but mashed potatoes and fish served with a portion of veggies boiled to within a thread of existence was greeted with almost as little enthusiam had I been served a turd.

It took years of endless mealtime disappointment, but I eventually convinced my mother that perhaps I really didn't like fish/potatoes. So what does she do? Puts the mashed potatoes through a colander so they resemble rice and serves me something called "Gujons" and reacts with utter surprise when I announced that I'd rather eat a copy of the yellow pages.

At age 32 she still asks "Do you want some nice beef to go with that?" when I eat Sunday lunch.

I've been a vegetarian for four years.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 1 Mar 2007, 13:44, Reply)