Can I...
.
Just ask if this is the most popular QOTW since the Sick Joke one? 28 pages so far...

And, to keep on topic, I fucking hate cucumbers. Would rather drag my testicles across broken glass than eat one...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 11:02, Reply)

I have a cat
that loves to eat anything hot & spicy like wasabi and Nacho Cheese Doritos, but despises tuna and kitty treats. Then again, I don't like canned fish either.

And I used to have a fish (an Oscar named Sluggo) who ate frozen shrimp out of my hand.
( cynfulcynner ...another American nutter, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 10:49, Reply)

Crippled by eating
I have always been an immense glutton. My birthday treats were always visits to restaurants, and on my 19th I made the mistake of going to an 'eat-all-you-can-eat' place. I ate all I could and felt highly satisfied.

But when I got home, I started to develop intense stabbing pains in my stomach. Rolling around on the floor in agony, I thought it was food poisoning and called our doctor. When he arrived, he palpated my stomach and started to laugh.

"You've eaten so much that your stomach is stretched to capacity. That's what's causing the pain."

Not picky enough, it seems.
(frankspencer, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 10:44, Reply)

Double date from hell...
I once went on a doulble date with a girl who explained that she was a strict vegan. This was not a problem only we were just sitting down to eat in an American style diner. I was relieved to see they actually had a nut cutlet on the menu and relaxed a little. She then cross examined the poor waiter who couldn't say whether or not the cutlet had been bound together using eggs or verify that the oil used for cooking it contained any animal fats! So she just sat there as I tucked into a big juicy steak that was cooked rare and oozing with blood. What did she expect? Get real.
(minky, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 9:54, Reply)

blah
I once spent hours maneuvering myself into an adequate position, so that once I shot my load, I'd catch it in my mouth. It took me about four hours to get into position, and about three wanks before I managed to get it in my mouth, but once it was there, you know, it tasted fucking rotten. So I spat it out again. I guess that makes me a fussy eater.
(Alexxx It wasn't me, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 9:43, Reply)

Another road trip
This time in northern Greece. Stopped of for a bite to eat with my female travelling companion and we espied a traditional estiatorio - the kind of place where the food sits in heated vats and you just point to what you want. So we ate heartily (although the food was a little lukewarm) and retired to the hotel for some action.

Cue foreboding thunder from our stomachs and an impending sense of the liquid squits. In a flash, I was sitting on the bog and pebble-dashing the pan with an oxtail soup of evil-smelling shite. She didn't have the squits, though. No - SHE needed to vomit. So we took it in turns - me waddling off the toilet and her lunging into the crap-smeared hole to puke her guts up, then me waddling back for more spraying etc.

At one point she was puking between my legs as I was dribbling the last rank dregs from an exhausted a-hole. There was no action after that. And we agreed we wouldn't eat at an estiatorio again.

Call that picky if you like.
(frankspencer, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 9:41, Reply)

Road Trip
A few years back I took a road trip to Wales.

Actually, it was a (pointless) 1 hour meeting that we travelled to from Rotherham - A real waste of time too.

Anyhoo

My friend Nicki had to go and she decided that I had to go with her - Joy - Half way we decided to get possibly the biggest bag of sweets in the history of big bags of sweets. And scoffed the lot.

Oddly enough, we were both quite ill.

I now don't eat sweets as the memory is still rather clear.

Nice.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 8:45, Reply)

1977
one fateful day in 1977 dad took me to see Star Wars, this was obviously a huge treat (a better one than when the bastard took me to see Jaws at 8 years old) and as such the old man asks what lollies do you want so of course I say give me the biggest fuck off bag of marshmellows known to man (well thats what it seemed like to me seeing I was about 5) I promptly scoffed the lot threw up all over the poor bloke sitting in front of me, and scarred him for life I'm sure.

But to this day I cannot even smell a marshmellow or even anything its been near without feeling sick
( Jimocles I post therefore it is, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 8:37, Reply)

The juicydangler
I've never been a fussy eater and love horse/cow/whale sashimi, am happy with intestines, fish eggs, whole fish, tongue etc. but can you honestly tell me in a kaiten sushi bar you look at uni and think mmmmm... I'll try some of that. If you do you are one sick puppy and a dirty fucker.

And my opinion is 100% fact as I'm always right :)
(Dellamorte Dellamore Fuck it all, fuck it up, fuck it., Thu 8 Mar 2007, 7:00, Reply)

My littliest brother
was sent to Japan for 9 weeks of training. He was a tried and true Midwesterner, i.e. a meat/potatoes/junk food only guy. The thought of fish, pickled veggies, weird candy made him ill. (I never had an onion or rice among many other foodstuffs until I was 17 and went to college) So for 9 weeks he only ate at traditional Japanese restaurants like KFC, Blimpy's, Burger King, Taco Bell and gained 35 pounds.

The next year, they sent him back. He bit the bullet and ate Japanese food for 9 weeks. Lost 35 pounds. He's a lot more adventurous about food now.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 5:45, Reply)

Not at all
I currently live in Japan, and as such eat the following things on a weekly basis; raw fish, seaweed, salmon eggs, whale, snails, intestines, diaphram etc

Suffice to say, fussy eaters do my head in.
(thejuicydangler, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 3:49, Reply)

cauliflower
ugh

am i the only one who thinks it tastes like fart?

(not that i have tasted farts-im just going by smell. its all olfactory i figure)
(salvadorbones, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 2:21, Reply)

Looking back... I'm rank!
When I was a kid I wasn't allowed chewing gum because the first time I had it I stuck it my hair. Thereafter the only chewing gum I ate was that which I found on the street. I used to pick chewing gum off the street and eat it. I disgust myself.
(Stainer Has been treating objects like women since, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 2:05, Reply)

mints/mince?
when i was but a wee lad, i must have seemed like a right fussy bugger to one mates grandmother (she had that look of death in her eyes-like a raven does *shudder*)

im from a family of strict veggies, so i never had much experience of meat, and decided i didnt like it, like most kids do with what they find unusual. i still dont like the stuff, but have no moral objections to meat

anywaaay, whnever id go to a friends house, id mention that i was a 'vegetarian' just to play it safe, and ensure no meat was given. vegetarianism was (and still is) a bizarre concept to a lot of folk, so id end up with fish and stuff, and have to feign stomach ache.

anyway, psycho grannie tells me weve got mince for tea tonight. which i hear as mints (hey, meat never came into my house, how was i to know). odd i think, but ok, i can deal with it

so a few hours pass, and im presented with a platter of mashed up animal, with some vegetables boiled to the point of no flavour. i wish id just kept my mouth shut, and forced myself through it though, as psycho granny was against vegetarians, and made me 'eat around the meat' (which isnt really possible with mince now is it) and proceeded to mutter 'wasteful bugger' not-so under her breath while using her evil eyes against me from her rocking chair while me and friend played mario kart, trying to take my mind off what became quite agonising hunger

many apologies for length, but youve heard it all before
(salvadorbones, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 2:00, Reply)

Picky Eater?
Frankly, I'll eat anything as long as a German hasn't touched it.
(Fatima Whitbread's hardon drugs and the causes of drugs, Thu 8 Mar 2007, 1:58, Reply)

Not so much 'picky',
more 'weird'
Bloke who lived in our student flat in my 1st year didn't eat anything that wasn't cooked by his mum. She'd turn up on Monday, drop off 14 containers of food like stew, pasta etc and he's put it all in his freezer. Which was in his room. Then he'd microwave it in his microwave (which was in his room) and eat it on his plate (which he kept, and washed, in his room).
He wasn't very sociable.
the two oddest things were that he was very amiable when you could get more than two words out of him, and despite the home-cooked diet he was MASSIVE. He'd have made the Pilsbury Doughboy feel anorexic.
His degree was in computer sciences. Apparently he was about the most shit-hot brain the department had ever seen, so he probably had to make space for the code by jettisoning his human contact stuff. Probably earns about a gajillion times what I do now.
Length? Read War & Peace. Then complain
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 23:45, Reply)

wee
I was once stood at a urinal in club. Was a guy stood next to me, off his face, who was looking intently into the bottom of the urinal I was pissing into. I was a little too freaked out to make comment on his wierd behaviour so finished up and headed over to wash my hands, keeping an eye on him in the mirror as I did so I saw him lean over and fish out what could only have been the small nub of a well eroded toilet bleach cube. He stuck it straight into his gurning gob and pulled a face as the foul piss reeking bleachy taste hit his tongue and announced with some considerable jubilation that it tasted so rank that must be of the highest quality, and spaz danced his way back into the throng.
.
(Darth Vegas Poke It With A Stick, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 21:45, Reply)

my cousin
used to eat only chicken nuggets, tinned spaghetti hoops, and mashed potato. Even when we went to a posh hotel for my grandparent's golden wedding. The chef had to make chicken nuggets (and he did, out of chicken breast), the best mash ever, and a tin of heinz spaghetti hoops.

As for me, I won't drink tea or coffee, seafood, crabsticks since an incident with my grandmother.

I also won't eat spicy food, but that is because it plays havoc with my guts. And if my meat has a vein in it I have to eat around it. And I don't like the texture of fat, so I avoid that if possible, too.

As for kids/pets, if they are hungry enough, they will eat it. The crabstick incident was my particular exposure to this philosopy. And I ate them after 4 hours sat at the table. I didn't enjoy them, and I won't eat them again through choice, but if I was hungry I would.

As for vegan pets, dogs can be, but cats can't, they can't make some of the amino acids they need by themselves. And anyway, they are designed to eat meat, why inflict your ethics on your pet?

apologies for lack of hummus/length
( John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 21:29, Reply)

Not Much but to name a few...
I hate;

mushrooms

leeks

tea thats too weak with no sugar

cup a soups with milk in (belive me ive accidenttally poured milk in my soup instead of my tea - goes wierd and tastes foul - dont try it at home kids!

Cauliflower
(Huggy G The Last time I raped your mum was on, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 21:20, Reply)

Cauliflower
I can't eat cauliflower. It's not the taste that bugs me, it's the texture. Merely looking at the stuff in the grocery store is enough to make me want to wretch.

I used to like it, but one day, I popped a piece in my mouth and got the image that I was chewing on a piece of brain. I've been unable to touch the stuff ever since.

Also, when I was younger, I insisted upon eating peanut butter M&Ms while sitting upside-down. That is, sitting in a chair with my head touching the ground and my feet in the air. They taste better that way.
(MortigiTempo, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 21:17, Reply)

yum
My brother, when about 5, would only eat food if it was pink. He also ate chcolate blancmange with boiled carrots in it.

However, a friend of mine would eat stuff off the toilet floor, including half a mars bar without its wrapper that he found there.
(grangeb77 bored of sigs. boom zig, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 20:34, Reply)

Get a grip, FFS..
Okay. I'm noty a picky eater, and have eaten my way through many of gods creatures, from teeny anchovies to mighty giraffe; yet i understand that there are foods folks dont like, despite my urge to label them as childish; an adventurous palate is something i'm glad i've got, and if you find something in your mouth you're not keen on, what's the worst that can happen? It'll taste unpleasant to you. unless you are one of the miniscule percentage of the population that are likely to snuff it from eating nuts, that's all. However, if you find something you dont like, hidden in a pizza mayhap, you don't need to retch, pull faces, etc. I was in amsterdam a couple of years back with some good friends, gourmands all, and we met up with the chum of one of them; a bit dim, i thought, deeply uncultured, but hey, we can't all be refined like wot i is. until, in a nice restaurant, he had an olive in a dish, and rather than place napkin over mouth, remove article and apologetically(and politely) remove it with minimum of fuss, he fucking just gobbed it out onto the bastard table, then kept spitting until the last vestiges were liberally sprayed over the tablecloth; and then couldn't for the life of him understand why i was fucking furious, and refused to have anything more todo with him. Fucking peasant.



last week a friend and his laydee came round and he and i cooked; oysters rockefeller, foie gras with fig confit, quenelles of steak tartare, tournedos rossini (3 beautiful filet mignon, so tender and rare i could taste the tears of it's mother, on a bed of fried bread and foie gras), creme brulee, espresso and chocolate. On a tuesday. Mmmmmm.....



Avoid andouilette though.
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 20:09, Reply)

I had a friend when I was younger.
He was a bit odd. Once when he came round for dinner and my mum asked him if he liked waffles, he replied that he only liked the small ones. Tragically, mother had bought the large waffles, so she cut them into quarters and gave them to him.

He never even noticed they'd been cut up, and ate them quite happily. Clearly the flavour changes when you divvy them up.
(Zem flolloping floopily around Squornshellous Zeta, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 20:08, Reply)

Curry gives me the shits...
...so I have a curry every friday.

Upon waking on saturday mornings, I stand up, face away from my wall, and bend over. Then I see how high I can projectile diaohrea up the wall.

Then I lie down and masturbate, while thinking of the queen mum.
(mmmkay, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 20:02, Reply)

Pooks again
When one of our cats was a kitten she kept minesweeping food off our plates, whilst we were still eating.

Cute at first, but after the hundredth time having a paw grab your fork and pull it to her mouth it became annoying.

"We have to put something on our plates she won't like" we said

Walking down the aisles in't supermarket I spotted a jar of pickled red cabbage, Mrs YC nodded and we stuck it in the trolley.

That night all was set up. Mrs YC put a bit on her plate and we sat down to eat.

Out came the paw, she nibbled the bit of cabbage off the fork and jumped down off the table. "Got you, you little sod" I said

She then jumped back onto the table and took another bit straight off Mrs YC's plate.

"Bugger, so much for your good ideas" said the wife.
(Yellow Car is now red, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 19:52, Reply)

sushi
see i love the stuff fabulous...and its not raw fish...sashimi is raw fish that can be eaten with sushi but not always...sushi is the actual rice used...

but give me mashed potato and i'll probs puke...or choke...
(littlebusstudiesone, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 19:51, Reply)

One of our older friends
We decided to go on a driving holiday to Spain, 2500 mile round trip, ending up in a tiny village in the Pyrenees. Having a kitty for the food we decided to go to the nearest, somewhat small, supermarket to load up a weeks groceries and beer.

"I'll cook tonight" I said to our long time friends. "I think I'll do some garlic mushroom pasta, look they've got fresh parmesan over there"

What followed left me and Mrs YC speechless.

"I can't eat vegetarian food it upsets my stomach" he said as he ran down the supermarket aisle, waving his arms and pointing back to us, repeating to his wife what I'd just said.

His wife came running back up to me...

"He can't eat vegetarian food it upsets his stomach"

"ok, I'll stick some meat in it"

"thanks" she said

I wandered over to the deli and picked up a packet of plastic ham wondering how the fuck that would save his intestines from torment.

I should mention that the chap is in his fifties. He did appear to be about five at the time.

So I made the meal cut up the ham and chucked it in at the end and served it up.

The next night I made some spicy meatball pasta which they both thought was wonderful. It was a bit spicy and come three in the morning we could hear him through the bedroom wall telling his wife to get a damp face cloth cos his stomach was hurting.

I think I should have left out the meatballs.

I was trying to fit in the phrase "he was a complete twat" but wasn't quite sure where to put it.

Thank god they went home early, but I can save that one for another qotw or two.
(Yellow Car is now red, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 19:44, Reply)

off topic?
marmite. i fcuking hate the stuff. but i love guinness. has anyone had the new guinness marmite? im intrigued.
(russianroulette23 Nastrowya towarichi!, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 18:59, Reply)

Only cooked
I will NOT eat ham or cheese unless it is cooked (e.g. toast), I find it disgusting, too fatty for me.
(Dog with Lasers says bite, bite, bite, Wed 7 Mar 2007, 18:45, Reply)