Wha-na-na-naaaaaa, Wha-na-na-naaaaa, wha-wha-wha-wha-naaaaaa!
I knew this would give me an opportunity to tell a rude story (have pity, I'm still at work)!

Back when myself and my peers first started out on the dating malarky, we were all rather eager but inexperienced. We gathered at the home of one of our number had sat and watched "9 1/2 weeks" and the bit where Mickey Rourke is giving la Basinger goose bumps with an ice cube were forever ingrained in our impressionable minds.

Now a certain curly haired chap who'll remain nameless had a somewhat unexpectedly excellent result when fooling around with the frozen stuff with his new g/f, so the rest of the barely-virgins were trying to find ways of experimenting with it without scaring the lady-folk away.

My best buddy had arguably the most controversial result of all; once his parents buggered off to Spain for a fortnight, a summer BBQ was held and his g/f turned up. Now at some point in the evening, his g/f asked me where the freezer was, but considering that I was a) 17 and b) wankered I didn't put two and two together until the next morning when a large bag of recently thawed rhubarb was recoved from my mate's room during the post party cleanup operation.

Naturally the clingfilm bag was paraded for all to see and my pal had to endure a good deal of ribbing about it for some time afterward.

I was invited over for dinner a few weeks later and was almost caught unprepared when mate's mum offered round bowls of rhubarb and custard for dessert. Mother and father were mystified as to why the dishes were politely declined all round, but also were very curious as to exactly why the repeated offer was met with a mixture barely stifled laughter and sheepishness.

It took me a good decade before I could face the vegetable without some wholly disturbing images going through my mind.

Mind bleach?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 1 Mar 2007, 20:19, Reply)